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the tipping point by ~chickenlittle:iconchickenlittle:



I want to slide back, quietly as possible, into the teeming muck.
I lie collapsing, taking in the stillness around me and my body;
My mind wanders up and up, towards the tipping point, tips and falls.
Flat on the ground, a haze of reeds  and grass and flowers draw up around me.

I lie collapsing, taking in the stillness around me and my body.
Quaking, shaking, lacking the strength, again I try; again I fail.
Flat on the ground, a haze of reeds  and grass and flowers draw up around me.
I see it, seething before me with life and stillness, so murky my eyes cloud.

Quaking, shaking, lacking the strength, again I try; again I fail;
Something is hiding, lurking just beyond this hill, or that hill.
I see it, seething before me with life and stillness, so murky my eyes cloud;
Something is rippling, emanating from some muster spot in the center.

I want to slide back, quietly as possible, into the teeming muck.
Something is hiding, lurking just beyond this hill, or that hill;
Something is rippling, emanating from some muster spot in the center.
My mind wanders up and up, towards the tipping point, tips and falls.
©2004-2009 ~chickenlittle
:iconchickenlittle:

Author's Comments

the format is a pantoum. that means that it is a 16 line poem with 8 lines each repeated once in a certain format. the pantoum is, i believe, of arabic origin, but i'm not positive. mine is not arabic.

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:iconsilentstar:
I have never read a poem in this format before. I really like it! The words say so much, and even more when used in a different context. It all comes together in the end. Beautiful :omg:

--
So...um...
:iconchickenlittle:
thank you. i thought it was a really interesting form too; in a way it's almost lulling, but i'm so glad you like it!
:iconchris-hoban:
Such great poetry, ensconced in a format that does it soo much justice....inspires me write a few poems that aren't free verse. Thanks for posting this, its great!
:iconchickenlittle:
wow. thank you so many times over. i'm really glad i could be of use to you, also!
:iconsweetears:
amazing piece of work:)

--
The saddest thing is a life never lived
a desired task never tried
Wishing stars never wished upon
left floating in the sky
:iconchickenlittle:
i'm glad you like it!

Details

October 21, 2004
1.3 KB

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